Is it ok to divorce an abusive spouse?
By David J. Stewart | September 2006
Jesus plainly taught
that divorce only happens...
“because of the hardness of your hearts” (Matthew 19:8).
No! Leave if you must, but divorce is wrong. Marriage is a lifetime covenant. I received the following e-mail from a woman who left her husband. In a subsequent e-mail she confirmed that she had divorced him...
I SAW YOUR WEBSITE. I HAVE A QUESTION. I AM DIVORCED. MY HUSBAND AND I ARE
BOTH SAVED. I AM SAVED 24 YRS. HE GOT SAVED WHEN HE MET ME. HE WAS ALSO AN
ELDER IN OUR OLD CHURCH. ANYWAY HE JUST KIND OF TURNED ON ME OVER THE
YEARS. HE WAS HITTING ME AND THE KID. HE WAS ALSO BOTH VERBALLY AND
EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE. IT WAS A HARD DECISION BUT I HAD TO LEAVE. MY EX
HUSBAND WAS DESTROYING MY CHILDREN'S SELF ESTEEM AND SELF WORTH. NOT TO
MENTION MINE. IS IT REALLY SUCH A HORRORABLE THING THAT I DID? I REALLY
DON'T THINK I DID THE WRONG THING. THE KIDS ARE BETTER NOW, AND I FEEL
SAFE. OK MY BROTHER IN CHRIST, PLEASE GET BACK TO ME.
I'm going to answer this woman's e-mail with a humble heart and an understanding mind. The Word of God provides the answer to all of life's questions, but we've got to search the Scriptures to know the mind of God. The woman who sent me this e-mail brings up a good point. There are many things that ought to be taken into consideration.
Certainly, abuse is wrong, plain and simple. God created Eve from Adam's rib, the nearest thing to his heart, to be loved and cherished. A person who is in an abusive relationship has a right to leave. There's no question about that. Some people have attempted to twist my teachings on marriage and divorce out of context, accusing me of telling women to submit to continued physical and mental abuse. I DON'T teach that and never have. What I do teach is that there are no Biblical grounds for divorce. This is not to say that a wife should not leave an abusive husband; but rather, she should not divorce him. 1st Corinthians 7:17 states:
1st Corinthians 7:10, "And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife."
So, Biblically, if a wife does divorce, she is to REMAIN UNMARRIED. Matthew 5:32b teaches that it is adultery for a divorced woman to remarry...
"Whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."
The focus of Jesus' teaching in Matthew 5:32 was not upon divorce as many think; but rather, upon remarriage. It is adultery to get remarried if you divorced your spouse for any reason.
The question is not if it is okay to divorce an abusive spouse; but rather, is it ok to divorce? If you permit exceptions for which to divorce, people will ALWAYS take a foot if you give them an inch, divorcing for every reason. Although divorce is a hotly debated subject, I just believe that God made two people for each other, to spend a lifetime together, for better or worse. If your spouse is sentenced to life in prison, I think you should be there for them, not move on in your self-righteousness. You're just as much a sinner in God's eyes. We all deserve to burn in the fires of Hell. You cannot run from responsibilities, tragedy, heartache and burdens. If you do, it will haunt you 'til you die if you have any conscience at all.
I greatly admire Gloria Chapman, the loyal wife of Mark Chapman (the cowardly man who murdered John Lennon in 1979, shooting him in the back). Gloria is a born-again Christian and is faithful to the Lord, honoring her marriage vows. She keeps regular contact with her husband and flies from Hawaii to New York at least once a year to visit with her husband for 44 hours. I admire anyone who stays by the stuff, doing right. Anybody can selfishly quit. Anybody can throw in the towel. Marriage is a lifetime covenant, not a contract!
Just because your spouse goes to prison or becomes an invalid doesn't give you a right to divorce and remarry, so you can enjoy life. People have no loyalty anymore, neither to God nor their loved ones. This is what the Bible means in 2nd Timothy 3:1-5 when it speaks of people "without natural affection" in the last days. It is natural to love your spouse, family and close friends; but it will not be that way in the end times, and we are already in these times today. Jesus said in Matthew 24 that a man's foes would be they of his own household.
Most people who file for divorce attempt to claim that Jesus allows for divorce in situations of adultery, but that is not what Jesus taught. What about all the other sins that one's spouse may commit? Does that provide a grounds for divorce? No, not according to the Lord. Jesus taught in Matthew 18:22 to forgive, 70 times 7. Divorce is the sin of hate, unforgiveness and hypocrisy. So many people are woefully ignorant of the Scriptures, just as Jesus said:
Matthew 22:29, “Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God.”
God's power can save your marriage, if you will trust God and not quit.
Do you realize that less than one-percent of the population divorced in 1900? Recently in southern California the divorce rate skyrocketed to 75.54 %!!! Most of the divorces are filed by women. Why so much divorce today as compared to a hundred years ago? There are numerous reasons; but primarily, television, women's liberation, feminism, greedy lawyers and a Communist agenda to destroy America's families by rigging the court system always in favor of divorce. Marriages don't stand a chance plugged into mainstream society. The secret to a happy marriage is to stay as far away from American culture as possible. I'm dead serious. This hellhole society in which we live today is sick, insane and perverted. If you truly want to get a divorce, you will find some excuse to justify it, but you cannot fool God.
Looking for Reasons to Justify Sin
It is sinful human nature to attempt to justify sin. This is why it's so important for Christians to mediate in the Scriptures, which show us the awfulness of sin. We are living in a heathen society that uses extremes to justify the norm.
- The abortionist attempts to justify murder by bringing up some poor woman giving herself an abortion in an alley. Yet, there's not one medically documented case on file.
- The greedy swindler attempts to justify the sin of casino gambling by bringing up the lack of jobs in his community. Yet, casinos only redistribute wealth, not creating any genuine economy.
- The booze cartel attempts to justify alcohol by bringing up the wave of gangster crime during the prohibition years. Yet, innocent people are dying one hundredfold today compared to back then due to drunk drivers.
- Homosexuals attempt to justify the sin of homosexuality by twisting the Biblical doctrine of God's love. Yet, there is much hatred today against Bible-believing Christians who preach against the sin of homosexuality.
- And, the feminist (rebellious) wife attempts to justify the sin of divorce by self-righteously condemning her husband for any reason possible; while she hypocritically overlooks her own faults that largely caused the marital conflict.
People are so quick to abandon their wedding vows these days, i.e., “For better, for worse; 'Til death do us part.” Those words used to mean something. Sadly, the marriage ceremony has become one of the biggest frauds in America, because nearly half of the couples exchanging lifetime wedding vows are liars. It is a woeful evil in the United States that is only getting worse. So many people today only think about them self and taking the easy way out.
Feminism is the sin of rebellion, which God says is equivalent to the sin of witchcraft (1st Samuel 15:23). Divorce is always the poorest solution to one's marriage problems. Hiding behind one's children is a lame excuse to divorce. No one divorces for any other reason than because it's what they wanted to do.
“Feminist ideology about the goal of gender-neutrality and the absence of innate differences between males and females goes out the window when it comes to the subject of domestic violence. Feminist dogma is that the law should assume men are batterers and women are victims.”
SOURCE: Feminist Abuse of Domestic Violence Laws, by Phyllis Schlafly
Social Hypocrisy and Moral Rottenness
Ever since the O.J. Simpson trial, police across America have been hauling men out of their homes simply because the wife makes an allegation of abuse. I am not diminishing the seriousness of domestic abuse, God forbid. I am simply saying that feminists nowadays KNOW they have a powerful new weapon against men—laws introduced and passed which cater to political agendas, which include feminism.
As a consequence, a husband who even raises his voice at his wife can be arrested for verbal assault. Hypocritically, police yell at people all the time, calling them horrible names, and this is considered part of their job. Young men and women in the military are screamed and yelled at as part of their training, and this is considered good for them. Yet, if a husband dares raise his voice to discipline his wife, he goes to jail.
There are laws now being introduced that will prohibit parents from ruling over their own children. Parents will go to jail, and are going to jail, for disciplining their own children...
"Parents are being demoted to simple caregivers, while the state assumes the role of the prime authoritative figure. The UNCRC is an assault on parental authority and is essentially a blank check for governmental interference in family matters. It is meant to further promote child autonomy and freedom from parental guidance."
When police yell at people, it is considered necessary; but when a husband yells at his wife or children, he is considered abusive. The reason is that America is a Godless nation, which does not recognize a man's authority over his wife in the marriage, and increasingly neither over his children in the home. Genesis 3:16 says...
"Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."
Husbands are not allowed anymore in today's heathen American society to Biblically “rule over” their own wives. Women in America have to a large extent become sassy, arrogant and rebellious against masculine authority, particularly in the home. This is the Devil's work of feminism. This is why divorce is so commonplace. This is why women have entered church pulpits all across America teaching false doctrines. This is why American society is saturated today with whorishly dressed women with imprudent character and lewd conduct.
The way most American women dress is a disgrace. Even professed Christian women dress and act shamefully. I recently visited a Baptist church in my area. Most of the women in the church were wearing pants, swinging their hips to the contemporary music while clapping their hands. It was a sad sight. And they call this “worship.” The woman in front of me was moving her hips forward and backward, and every time she went forward the slacks she was wearing revealed the outline of her buttocks. The woman next to her was wearing pants and kept swinging her hip from one side to the other while clapping. This is sinful worldliness in the church. I won't go back. Do you know what the problem is? Apostate pastors who don't teach their congregation holy living and are afraid to preach against the sin of immodestly dressed women. As with everything else in this sin-cursed world, the love of money is the root of all evil. You can't even go to church anymore to escape the pollutions of the sinful world. The love of money is the reason why pulpits are silent today.
The Bible Commands Us to Forgive or Else We Won't Be Forgiven
It is clear from the woman's e-mail quoted at the beginning of this article that she is attempting to defend her decision to divorce her husband. I certainly am not in a position to condemn her, for the Word of God condemns all mankind as guilty sinners...
Romans 3:19, "Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God."
It's not my place to judge anyone. I do want to point out though that leaving one's husband is one thing, but divorcing him is another. Too many wives are quick to quit their marriage because of the feminist influence of some snake, just as the serpent beguiled Eve. This faithless and selfish generation is filled with snakes. We read in Matthew 19:7-8...
"They say unto Him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so."
In Matthew 18:22, Jesus taught Peter to forgive 7 times 70, i.e., unlimited forgiveness. Again, I am not saying that anyone should submit to abuse; but divorce is almost always synonymous with unforgiveness and self-righteousness. Each case is unique and God knows men's hearts. God will judge.
I want to share with you a passage of Scripture in Matthew 18:23-35 concerning forgiveness. This ought to frighten anyone who continually brings up their spouse's sins and faults and self-righteously minimizes their own . . .
“Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents. But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt. So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done. Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.”
Hypocrite: Someone who views another person as being a worse sinner than them self.
Carefully notice that the woman in the e-mail being addressed failed to mention even one negative thing about herself. Oh, she must be an angel. It is sinful pride that causes all divorces. Divorce is a sin. America is a feminist nation, and women are twice as likely to file for divorce than men. Look at World Divorce Rates and see how the evils of feminism have destroyed America's families.
Interestingly, and sadly, all we see on the internet and in society today is talk about domestic violence; but NEVER do we hear anything about statistics on wives who refuse to obey their husbands. It is evil. IN GOD'S EYES, it is just as sinful for a wife to frustrate her husband through insubordination and disobedience as are the sins of homosexuality and witchcraft.
1st Samuel 15:23a, "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry."
I am not lessening the sin of domestic violence, I am emphasizing the sin of wives who rebel against their husbands by not being obedient. I realize that this philosophy is unpopular with feminists today; but it is 100% Biblical doctrine.
The Bible Teaches Women to Submit to Their Own Husband
A wife is expected by God to obey her husband.
A wife who refuses to submit to her husband causes the marriage to become a two-headed monster. Someone's got to be in charge or there will be continual conflict. Ideally, a husband and wife should work together on everything; however, in those situations where there is a conflict, the wife is commanded by God to submit to her husband. In fact, Ephesians 5:22 commands a wife to obey her husband as unto Jesus Christ, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." How many wives today obey this Biblical command? It is like looking for a needle in a haystack to find such a woman today in America today.
No wonder Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 7:28, "One man among a thousand have I found; but a woman among all those have I not found." Solomon couldn't find one woman, amongst all his wives and concubines, whom he could trust with all his heart. Solomon was a man of poor character and married the same type of women. There were many feminists in Solomon's time, just as there are today. Listen to what Solomon had to say about the rebellious feminists of his own time, "And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her."
What a contrast from the virtuous wife of Proverb 31:28, "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her." Which type of woman are you? What does your husband have to say about you? God knows, and He does care, and you will have to give account one day (Romans 14:12). We will all give account to God one day for our words and actions. We may hide our voice in the choir of humanity for the time being, but we will sing solo at the judgment before God. That is, we will be required to give account as individuals. Matthew 12:36 warns, "But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment."
Feminism is Evil
Feminism rejects the Biblical teaching that a wife is to OBEY her husband. I get many letters from people who have divorced, looking for sympathy. I won't sugarcoat the truth—divorce is a sin. Jesus endured the cross for us, because He loves us. Christ set the example for us to follow. I'm not saying that someone has a right to abuse us; I am saying that we will put up with someone if we love them, and will work to find a better way to reconcile the situation then to take the easy way out through a divorce. To the feminist, divorce is no big deal (just as they think abortion is no big deal).
As a Christian, I don't understand that mentality. I thought marriage was supposed to be about LOVE, between two people, forever. If Jesus was willing to suffer and endure the cross for our sins, then we should be willing to do the same for our own spouse. No matter what one's spouse does, divorce should never be an option. We are living in an unforgiving, hateful, self-righteous society, which loves to sit at home in front of their TV judging everyone else as being a bigger sinner than themselves. You'd better be careful because one day you may be on TV.
Ephesians 4:31-32 teaches, "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Feminism teaches the exact opposite, saying, "Get out of your marriage now while you still can!," or "God never intended for us to live in misery with an abusive spouse," or "If your husband loved you, he would treat you better," or "You would be a fool to go back home again, divorce, divorce, divorce!" Such statements are selfish and based upon self-pity. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and decide to hang in there like you PROMISED on your wedding day, when you made a VOW to remain faithful through better or worse until death.
Of course, the Bible teaches that a husband is supposed to love his wife. Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it." I am not biased against women, just against feminists.
Please read this article concerning the divorce rate, because it is so true concerning America today.
All Sins Can Be Justified by the Heathen
I receive quite a few letters from people who demonize their spouse, seeking to alleviate their own guilt because they CHOSE to divorce. Here's another letter I recently received from an angry wife...
Hi I read your article on divorce and I see what the bible says, but my daughter will have nothing to do with me unless this person is gone out of my life. He is not their father and she is 18, my son 14. Does God really intend for us to live and keep forgiving and putting our families through hell with a person that calls me a cunt, whore, etc - breaks my things, forbids me to see certain people, and he may even kill me one day. I was ready to up and leave to save myself and show my daughter that I did not choose her over this bastard, but what now? how can you worship and praise the lord when you are dying inside from a person like this?
The fact that Denise calls her husband a "bastard" is evidence that she is not so perfect herself. Romans 3:10 states, "There is NONE righteous, no not one." The truth is that people who seek divorce usually look for others reasons to JUSTIFY it. People generally don't do the things they do for any particular reason. Rather, they look for a reason to justify what they had decided to do in the first place. Ultimately, our final decision will always be the result of what we wanted to do, and NOT because of any particular reason. If you love someone, then you'll put up with them.
It is frightening, but true, that people are able to justify anything if they really want to. This is why homosexuals, fornicators, witches, abortionists, feminists, and those who divorce are all trying to JUSTIFY their sinful deeds with the Bible. It is evil to twist the Bible in an attempt to condone sin (Romans 1:25). In Jeremiah 7:9-10 we learn that the Israelites were guilty of trying to justify their sins, "Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear falsely, and burn incense unto Baal, and walk after other gods whom ye know not; And come and stand before me in this house, which is called by my name, and say, We are delivered to do all these abominations?"
These Jews claimed they were doing God's will by sinning. People are the same today 2,600 years later. It was the American people who allowed their government to destroy Bikini Atoll in the Marshall Islands, by detonated a thermonuclear bomb in their islands. This was justified by the need to "test" a bomb. Those poor islanders are still horribly suffering because of what America did to them! Hitler justified his evil against the Jews. Nero justified his persecution of the Christians. Hue Hefner justifies his pornography. NAMBLA justifies their pedophilia. GLSEN justifies homosexuality and teaching it to public school children. Divorce is no different. Nearly all people who file for divorce attempt to justify their sin of breaking their marriage vows, abandoning their spouse who needs them, and quitting. The sin of divorce leads to the sin of adultery in remarriage. I'm glad God doesn't look for reasons to stab us in the back and move on, because He'd have innumerable reasons.
Either you love your spouse or you don't. If you don't, then you need to get right with God yourself. If you do love your spouse, then you'll stay with them and HONOR your wedding vows ... "'Til death do us part." We are living in a nation of liars. LOVE finds a way to make a relationship work, it doesn't look for EXCUSES to get out and move on. America is without a doubt the most SELFISH nation on earth. Our charity is pig feed compared to what we spend on video games, pet supplies and pampering ourselves at Lone Star steakhouse. The chump change we give to the poor is nothing compared to what we spend on ourselves. Americans spend $50,000,000,000 a year on gambling alone, and even more than that on pornography. America has NO right to ask for God's blessing! We are a nation of baby murderers, liars, cheats, gossipers, boozers, fornicators, haters, whores and quitters! I'm not being unkind; but divorce is a quitters way out. If you want to get mad at me, go ahead; but the next man (or woman) you meet won't be perfect either.
The Sin of Divorce
The fact that such people continually seek to find peace from their guilt proves that they've sinned. The same is true of mothers who abort their babies. What they thought was right at the time, because some monster talked them into getting an abortion, now haunts them (and likely will for the rest of their life). Notice carefully that Moses said in Numbers 32:23, "YOUR sin will find YOU out." It is the sins we commit today that will one day haunt us in the future. Sin always leads to misery and regret. No mother who aborts her own precious baby can honestly say when she is old that she is glad she murdered her child. Sin always brings regret, bitterness, guilt, and resentment down the road. I have spoken with countless people throughout my life, who have shared with me their regrets over sins committed when they were younger. The same is true concerning the sin of divorce. Divorce always brings guilt and remorse. Only a hardhearted heathen would say that a divorce is the best thing that ever happened to them. Thankfully, God will forgive anybody.
I have received several letters from people who mentioned other pastors and ministries who told them it was OK to divorce. This clearly shows the apostasy of the times we're living in. How dare any professed "Christian" or "pastor" advise anyone to file for divorce. It is evil. I won't be an accomplice to the sin of divorce. Divorce is a sin. My article on Divorce is a Sin is a monkey-wrench in the gears of their divorce. They are sinfully divorcing their spouse, and have gained the emotional support of several neo-evangelical deadbeat ministries; BUT, now they've found my article exposing the sin of divorce and are upset. They write me in an attempt to convince me why they're doing the right thing. Folks, divorce is never right. What if God quit on us? What if God quit on us the same way so many people quit on their spouse?
Hebrews 13:5 promises that God will never leave nor forsake us, "...for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Amen! This is the standard for us to follow. I cannot understand how anyone could ever file for divorce from someone they love, no matter how abusive that person might be. I am NOT condoning abuse, I am simply saying that love will never fail if it is true love (1st Corinthians 13:8). All marriages have problems; but divorce is never an answer. We are living in an extremely selfish generation of heathens. Sadly, this includes MOST professed "Christians" as well. It is our SINFUL PRIDE which causes us to think we are entitled to a "better life" through divorce. It is not surprising in a society that permits baby-murdering, feminism, witchcraft, homosexuality, fornication, booze, gambling, pornography, lasciviousness, etc., that divorce is also greatly encouraged and committed. Woe unto America!
If you filed for divorce, then you have sinned. If you've remarried, then you have also commit adultery. If your spouse remarried, then you caused even more adultery. You may find idiots out there who will tell you it's ok to divorce; but, I am not going to help make you feel better about something you refuse to admit is wrong. If you have divorced, then you need to confess it to God as a sin, make reconciliation with your spouse as much as possible, and then move on in the Lord. If at all possible, the best thing would be for you to return to your spouse rather than remarry another (1st Corinthians 7:11). Only you know your own unique situation, and what needs to be done. God will hold YOU accountable for what YOU have done, and do (Romans 14:12). I say this with a broken heart over the sin of divorce and with a genuine concern for others. I love you in the Lord whoever you may be. No sin is so deep that it cannot be forgiven and cleansed away by Jesus' precious blood, but the first step is to acknowledge that one has sinned.
I'm a hell-deserving sinner just like anyone else. I am just as guilty of messing up as anyone else. BUT, right is right and wrong is wrong, and we must never allow our own personal feelings to confuse the two. I did not write this article to deliberately hurt anyone's feelings, and I certainly have no right to tell you your business; BUT, I am taking a stand for God against the sin of divorce. The Bible tells us in Malachi 2:16 that God hates divorce, "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away."
In nearly all divorces, the husband and wife BOTH have their own side of the story as to who's to blame. Usually, they blame each other. God will weigh the matter on Judgment Day, and the truth will come out. The wife who accuses her husband of "abuse" will be held accountable for all the things she did to provoke her husband, and she will be judged accordingly. It's the same morons who call spanking a child "abuse" who are attacking and labeling husbands as being "abusive." But those same people don't have a problem with murdering children by abortion. The term "abuse" has been greatly twisted nowadays. Every God-hating feminist in the country is still trying to use the O.J. Simpson case to demonize men. Men who track their wife's time are now considered "abusive." Biblically, a husband has every right to tract his wife's time and whereabouts. God told Eve that Adam would RULE OVER her (Genesis 3:16). This does not justify abuse, it just means that the wife is to submit to her husband's control and authority. Feminists hate the very concept of obeying any man, and have consequently labeled such Biblically authoritative husbands as "abusive." Nothing could be further from the truth.
Italy has one of the LOWEST divorce rates in the world. Do you know why? It's because there's a 3-year required waiting period before you can get divorced. Sadly, their laws are about to change to 1-year, and the divorce rate will skyrocket. My point here is that it is TOO EASY for couples to get divorced in America. It's big bucks for the judges, lawyers, bankers (when you lose your home in bankruptcy), etc. I always marvel that a couple can get married in a boat, on a mountain, in a church, under water, on a rollercoaster, in a park, even at the south pole; BUT, you can only be divorced IN A COURT OF LAW! Increasingly, for many men, marriage is becoming a deadly trap. The American court system is often unjust toward fathers, our laws having been corrupted by feminism.
Divorce is not an answer. I am NOT condoning abuse of any kind; but the term "abuse" has been greatly misconstrued to include such ridiculous things as a husband wanting to know where his wife is going, and when she's coming back. I agree wholeheartedly with Mrs. John R. Rice (wife of the great evangelist Dr. John R. Rice), who said that 90% of all divorces is the wife's fault, because God created the wife to be a HELP MEET for her husband (Genesis 2:18). The wife's ministry IS her husband! Many woman pluck their marriages down to the ground (Proverb 14:1). A husband has a Biblical God-given RIGHT to RULE OVER his wife (Genesis 3:16). In many cases when a wife leaves her husband, she involves strangers in the marriage and they are quick to give heathen advice (such as encouraging a divorce). Very few husbands will compromise with a wife who tries to force him to do things her way.
Many divorces are caused by rebellion on the part of the wife, i.e., her refusal to work with her husband and submit to his authority. Nothing will destroy a marriage faster than a wife with a bad attitude. Teenage girls today are being groomed by idiots, whores, weirdoes and freaks, like Britney Spears and Madonna. We live in a trash pop culture, a gutter society that has become morally-toxic. Madonna is an idol amongst teenage girls. Madonna is a sicko! She not only blasphemes Jesus Christ in her filthy book, SEX, but also portrays herself as receiving oral sex from a dog. Is it any wonder why so many women today, who grew up idolizing Madonna, are hateful and unforgiving toward their husbands and think it's ok to divorce? Even so come Lord Jesus!
Feminism is an evil menace, a Communist agenda intended to subvert American families, destroy marriages, kill babies, ruin marriages and undermine our nation's strength. A chain link is only as strong as the weakest link. Our nation's strength is its families. If you understand this, then you'll grasp the reason why the Devil is relentlessly attacking families today through immoral television, Godless public schools, heathen music and apostate churches. Anything or anyone that strengthens families is seen as an enemy of the State and is totally eradicated and driven out!
Many women who file for divorce don't give their husband an honest chance to make things right. It's always some lame excuse like, “He's had plenty of chances.” That is sinful pride! What if God said that about you? You'd be in Hell and so would I. The Bible plainly teaches that our heart cannot be trusted. We are warned that God ponders (studies) our heart's thoughts and intents and cannot be fooled. Divorce may seem right to a woman who is being abused by her husband, but wisdom must be used before filing for divorce.
Divorce is An Ugly Business
There's no such thing as a friendly divorce. If you read the newspaper, then you've seen ads from greedy lawyers, offering a friendly divorce for a few hundred dollars. Let me tell you, the courts are malicious and viscous and they have no respect nor fear of God (Romans 3:18). The courtroom is a cold-hearted place, where love is something they don't understand nor possess, where lives are destroyed, corruption is prevalent. You had better hope you never end up in the hands of America's rotten court system. America's prisons incarcerate 25% of all the world's inmates, convicting citizens for everything these days to feed the prison system. The same rotten court system handles divorces too.
If one spouse files on allegations (grounds) of abuse, all hell comes down on the other spouse, treating them lower than garbage. This is not God's way. It is a woeful evil that no spouse should ever do to another. I am saddened that so many professed Christians behave no better than the Godless wicked world. Divorce court is an evil place. There are new World Order agendas at work these days that demonize authoritative Christian fathers and husbands, but cater to effeminate homosexuals and lesbian parents. In traditional family settings, the court demonizes men as abusers, women as victims and children are made property of the State. No attempt is ever made to reconcile the marriage or family; it is all-out war n the legal SYSTEM. The SYSTEM (and I stress that word) is corrupt, evil and agendacized, run by thugs.
Before you file for divorce ladies (who statistically file for divorce more than twice the rate of men), consider what is going to happen. Forget about all the nice things meddling people tell you, it will be ugly. If you really want to hurt your husband, and you hate him mercilessly, and you want to ruin your retirement and destroy your family... then file for divorce!
I believe divorce is ALWAYS a sin! Jesus taught unlimited forgiveness (Matthew 18:21-35). Marriage is a lifetime commitment. I heard a preacher say that he thinks abuse breaks the marriage vows. If that's the case, then who decides what level of abuse negates one's vows to be faithful until death? The Bible does not agree with that minister. It is apostasy for any preacher to teach that divorce is ok. What about a legal separation? You are asking for a nightmare when you involve the legal system. Do you want them to take your kids? When you stir the pot, you never know what will happen next. It could all backfire on you! I am being your friend to warn you about the evils of the American court system. It's ugly!
Divorce Rate... from 1% to 75.54% in 100 Years!!!
These idiots on television, moron counselors and apostate ministers are quick to recommend calling 911, filing for divorce and moving on in life. Programs like THE VIEW, Consequently, whereas the U.S. divorce rate was below 1% in the year 1900, California's divorce rate recently skyrocketed to 75.54%!!!!!!!! America has already gone to hell. I don't expect most people to understand what I am teaching. I don't reasonably expect the tens-of-millions of women who have had abortions to agree with my Biblical position on the evils of divorce.
Someone will argue that failing to divorce may lead to a wife being murdered by an out-of-control husband. That's such a lame excuse. There are just as many women who are killed by an angry husband for filing for divorce, as there are wives who are killed for remaining in an abusive relationship. It's all a bunch of lame excuses. Everybody looks for excuses to do what they truly want to do. Please read, Why People Do the Things They Do! Let's just be honest, you're going to do what you want to do, plain and simple. Don't shift the blame nor make excuses for your decisions. Adam blamed Eve. Eve blamed the serpent. Humanity has been blaming each other ever since. We have no one to blame except our self.
I mean, why even exchange marriage vows to remain faithful in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth, et cetera? The whole purpose behind making such vows on one's wedding day is that YOU WON'T QUIT when things get bad. If you file for divorce, you are a promise-breaking liar. Nearly everyone who files for divorce has reasons IN THEIR OWN MIND (and perhaps in the minds of others who sympathize) for quitting. If they truly honored their marriage vows, and moreover loved their spouse and God, then they'd tough it out. If a wife needs to leave for awhile, fine; but divorce is never the right thing to do (especially if the other spouse doesn't want the divorce).
Most women who file for divorce are tired and don't care anymore, so they throw out the baby with the bathwater; but what about the tired husband? I'm so sick of people demonizing husbands for allegedly being abusive, while the wife's faults don't matter. The tired wife is pampered; while the tired husband is crucified. The struggling wife is encouraged to divorce; while the struggling husband is dragged into a heathen court system to be ravished by lawyers, judges and a merciless legal system of tyranny. As goes the quote from the Italian mafia movie (starring Al Pacino) SCAR FACE... “Women and children can make bad decisions; but not men.” So true!
Everything rests upon the shoulders of the husband and father, everything! When a marriages goes south and problems arise, the husband is demonized and nailed to a cross; while the woman is portrayed as a victim and catered to be an unfair court system that doesn't have any laws requiring a wife to OBEY her husband. God will judge women according to HIS LAWS, which require wifely obedience; and not according to man's laws which legalize abortion, same-sex marriages, pornography, casino gambling and so many other evils.
Divorce is Always Bad Advice
You'll never hear any jerks tell a struggling wife to go home and love her husband, clean her house, and hang in there. Instead they rationalize that the husband may kill her, so she should divorce, divorce, divorce. it's the only way they say! it's Satanism I tell you!!! If anything, dragging a struggling husband into court may push him over the edge (and the news is filled with such horrible events). It's all deliberate. This is exactly what the monsters behind the moral subversion and economic destruction of our nation want... total family breakdown!
Think about it... our nation's leaders (congress), who are elected to protect the best interests of American citizens, allow U.S. corporations to relocate tens-of-millions of jobs to foreign soil. Consequently, there's no decent jobs left in America. Now Americans are competing with illegal immigrants for the remaining minimum wage jobs. Yet idiot Americans continue to vote for these rotten criminals, whom the lying mainstream newsmedia protect, whitewash and promote. It's insanity!
Having said that, tens-of-millions of Americans have lost their homes, cannot find jobs and are struggling in their marriages. This dire situation has been deliberately created. And then the entire system is designed to promote divorce over every problem in the marriage. Television is saturated with homosexuals, feminists and unbelievers who spit on God, Christianity and the family. Our public schools are toilets teaching the lies of evolution, pushing immoral sex on kids and turning kids against their parents. No wonder divorce is commonplace! You tell me what's keeping marriages together these days? Everything is working against married couples today!!!
Don't Let the Devil Have the Last Laugh
When I sit down and ponder over all these things, I get real mad and want to tell everybody... DON'T DIVORCE!!! If it weren't for the rotten greedy criminals who have created a hostile economic situation in our nation, and the Luciferian scum behind the music industry, and the pedophile sex-perverts behind the televisions industry and Hollywood, and apostate CFR-member ministers like Rick Warren corrupting our churches... then marriages wouldn't be struggling the way they are in America!!! The Word of God has been tossed out the window!!!
The Bible teaches that a nation's leaders should seek proper counsel and only by GOOD ADVICE make war; not based upon whims, false information, greed, prejudices, retaliation or bad advice. Proverb 20:18: “Every purpose is established by counsel: and with good advice make war.” May I say, divorce is about as close as you can get to literal war than actually declaring war itself. Divorce is a nasty business in which no ones wins except the greedy lawyers and judge. I heard a trial lawyer say that he would rather take a murder case than a divorce case, because the hatred is more intense in divorce cases. That's what he said, vowing never to handle a divorce case again.
Once a disgruntled spouse signs the forms, carelessly filing for divorce. The courts deliberately turn it into a bloodbath. The court moves in like a predatory black widow spider, taking control over all the couple's assets, possessions, retirement, earnings, savings, car/boat, clothes and furniture, pets, every single thing you both own in this world. The courts don't care about either spouse, including the one who filed. It's now a legal matter in the hands of the judge, the attorney general and the cutthroat lawyers.
They will drag the case on for anywhere from one to 5-years, and you can expect to be bilked for at least $15,000 in legal fees. A friendly divorce only covers the application fee (letting the lawyer get his foot in the door like the Devil), then you'll be swindled for thousands of dollars. Your home and all you own becomes the property of the court until the cases is settled. The husband and wife stand on opposite sides of the court room and the lawyers and judge divide everything between the couple. Neither of you say a word as the court does their dirty evil work. Everything is done behind closed doors prior to the court setting. The lawyers loyalty is to the SYSTEM and not to the clients they represent.
Divorce causes emotional, physical, financial, legal, children and family and spiritual hardships. Divorce is commonplace in this evil generation. People criticize me a lot for defending abusive husbands, but that's not my intent. I'm defending the institution of marriage. The Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9 that the human heart is wicked, desperately evil and deceitful above all else. A lot of women file for divorce because someone coaches them into doing so. People should go to jail for meddling in other people's marriages. It's much too easy to divorce these days.
Italy used to require a 3-year waiting period before a divorce could be granted. Now it's one year! I think it should be 3-years in America! It's not even one month. If I had my way, divorce would be illegal. A wife would be allowed to leave her abusive husband, but would NOT be allowed to remarry or else face imprisonment (nor would the husband be allowed to remarry, and would go to prison for fornication). I would make divorce so miserable that couples would work hard at making their marriages work, which is what people should be doing in the first place). You know, in the old days before the creation of a welfare state, women had no where to go if they had marriage problems. Although it was a yoke of wood and there was some abuse during those times, what is happening in America today is a yoke or iron (total enslavement) in comparison. There is no perfect marriage, none!
I wish I could convince people, especially women of the importance of staying married and not divorcing. God will judge every individual according to their own wickedness. No one can fool God. Women can blame their husbands, focus on his sins and faults, and paint the picture they want people to see; but God sees the truth in every detail and will judge accordingly...
Proverbs 21:2 and 24:12, “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts.... If thou sayest, Behold, we knew it not; doth not he that pondereth the heart consider it? and he that keepeth thy soul, doth not he know it? and shall not he render to every man according to his works?”
The pastor who recommends divorce does not understand the unconditional love of God as he should. I do NOT give marriage counseling nor advice. I am simply defending the sacred institution of marriage. There's a ton of people defending divorce and remarriage. I wash my hands of such apostasy! The Bible teaches that God never leaves nor forsakes us, even when we're abusive and not what we should be (Hebrews 13:5). I mean, that's what we're really talking about here... divorcing a husband or wife that falls short of what they ought to be. I hear numerous divorced people talk evil about their formers spouse(s). It shows that their heart is not right with God. God is going to judge each of us as individuals (Romans 14:10-12; 2nd Corinthians 5:9-11; James 4:12; Matthew 12:36).
The unconditional love of God is something that few people understand or have experienced. You either understand or you don't. If you have God's unconditional love, then you'll never divorce your spouse. It is sinful how quick people are to shirk aside their loved ones, move on and start over. How can you start over?
You CANNOT show me even one Scripture in the Word of God that gives anyone permission to divorce because of abuse. And may I say, the Bible does not permit divorce for adultery either. So let us be forgiving, and humble ourselves before God, and be willing to follow in Christ's footsteps ...
"He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from Him; He was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows ... But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and with His stripes we are healed" (Isaiah 53:3-5).
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