I just quoted to you the inspired Word of God. The Bible plainly teaches
that every man ought to be married, to prevent him from living in sin. Very
few men have the “gift” of remaining single. 1st Corinthians 7:7,
“For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his
proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say
therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide
even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to
marry than to burn.” Paul said that it's better to get married than to
burn, and that must include divorced people, because they still burn too. I
am not saying that this is God's perfect will, but it is within His
permissive will. You can talk to ten different preachers, and you'll get ten
different answers on divorce and remarriage. I will humbly share with you
what I see in the Word of God.
The Bible does specifically forbid Christian women who file for divorce from getting remarried, as long as her husband is alive. Romans 7:3, “So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.” I do not find any Scripture passage that prohibits the victim of a divorce from getting remarried. The only person with a “hard heart” (Matthew 19:8) is the one who files for divorce, and refuses to reconcile with their mate, seeing the divorce thought to its finality.
The Apostle Paul further clarifies the matter by plainly stating in verse 28, “But if thou marry, thou hast not sinned.” This verse speaks to the unmarried. We know that remarriage is a sin, because the Lord said so in Matthew 19:9, “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” Yet, just as Moses reluctantly allowed the Jews to divorce and remarry, so does God (1st Corinthians 7:1-2, 28).
Now let us examine another passage of Scripture concerning marriage and divorce...
Matthew 19:5-9, “And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”
The Lord Himself said that if someone divorces their spouse, they are causing their forsaken spouse to commit adultery. The very fact that Jesus said this, proves that He understood it is reasonable to expect a divorced person to get remarried. How else would a man's former wife, whom He abandoned in divorce, commit adultery? Clearly, it is when she remarries to another man, which is a sin. Here we see that there is the perfect will of God, the acceptable will of God, and the permissive will of God. There are three wills of God for a person's life. I learned this truth from Pastor Jack Hyles in his helpful sermon titled: “If Thou Should Mark Iniquities Who Could Stand?” That is biblical. God does not approve of anyone committing sin, but the Lord understood reality verses the fictional religious dogma in many churches today, that forbids remarriage among divorced believers. I am speaking from reality! Divorced people are still hurting human beings, and to deny them a second chance at happiness and fulfillment is INSANITY!
God doesn't ever want anyone to get divorced. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16; Jeremiah 3:20). But if your spouse has abandoned and divorced you, then you had no recourse of action. It is easy for some religious hypocrite to allege that two people must sign a divorce, so they must both have been hard-hearted, but such a naive person doesn't understand how the court system works. When a judge and two lawyers want a divorce to happen, they gang up on the unwilling party, and coerce you through intimidation to cooperate. That is how the entire U.S. court system works in America!
When my former wife filed for divorce, I absolutely refused to sign anything! My lawyer intimidated me by telling me that the female judge was a feminist, a Catholic and a lesbian, and my former spouse WOULD get a divorce regardless if I signed the agreement or not. I still refused. My lawyer intimidated me further, warning me that I would be hit with lengthy litigation, costly legal fees, possibly even losing my children, and in the end the judge would still grant my x-wife a divorce. I wept uncontrollably while my hand was trembling, when I was pressured to sign that damned divorce document. I made my lawyer put it in the document, and he did, and my x-wife signed it first, which I still have in a safe place, that my former wife “refused to reconcile” with me, and only on that basis I was reluctantly agreeing. Idiots in many churches don't understand the fear, intimidation and pressure that the legal system puts on a person to cooperate. That is how the whole plea system works! Yet, ungodly, selfish, hateful, weirdo, religious Pharisees, will condemn, shun, reject and berate a person like me for even talking about my desire to get remarried to another woman. It is so wrong of them!
The Lord Jesus Christ Himself said that if someone files for a divorce, they are causing their spouse to commit the sin of adultery, because the dear Lord understood that it is only reasonable that a lonely human being would seek companionship from a new mate. How can anyone condemn such a person, who is a victim of an unwanted divorce? If you do, shame on you! Not me brother, I am going to love other people, not force them to suffer outside of God's perfect will. These rotten hypocrites who condemn divorced people fail to embrace the reality of God's permissive will. It is absurd that nearly every form of sin can be forgiven and a person given a second chance, except when it comes to the sin of divorce. What religious hypocrites!
I am not approving of divorce, God forbid. God hates divorce and so do I. I pleaded through my attorney for my former wife to call off the divorce, telling her that I didn't want it. She adamantly refused, insisting that we go our own ways. I have that in legal writing. She got what she wanted, not me! I was a victim. She made the divorce happen every step of the way, but all the bad stuff in the divorce was happening to me. I was hit by a speeding Mack truck, but she was behind the wheel with her lawyer! Only an ignorant, indoctrinated religious person would foolishly tell a hurting lonely person like me that “by God's grace” I must remain single for the rest of my life. My reply to that person is a bold: “You are a very ignorant person!” The Bible says to go from the presence of a fool. Dear friend, you need to walk away and avoid any religious idiot who berates, discourages and wrestles Scripture passages to convince you why you are not allowed to get remarried. Thank God that not all Christians are woefully ignorant and foolish. Any so-called “compassion” is fake, which drives divorced people out of churches, forcing them to go elsewhere where they can remarry.
Now, if your spouse divorced you last year, I definitely think you should wait 5 years before even thinking about remarriage, if you can wait that long. But in my case, it has been 15 very painful and frustrating years since 2006, and I cannot do this anymore. I know as sure as I am saved, that God permits me to get remarried, I just need to find a Christian woman who is as lonely and eager to find a companion as I am. They are out there, but I am not a very social person, which is the only reason I am still unmarried. And also, because of the hatred of ungodly religious people in the Bob Jones University camp on Guam, who refused to allow me to attend their church. I am definitely searching for a wife. I could marry a gal half my age in the Philippines, and I might do that if all else fails, but I would prefer to find a Christian gal in the United States. Some churches refuse to accept divorced people who remarry, and I think that is so horrible. God grace is sufficient for those things beyond our control, but getting remarried is not one of them! The Bible PLAINLY teaches in 1st Corinthians 7:1-2 that God wants a man to have his own wife, to prevent sinning.
If you do some research you will discover that many women and men, who had never considered committing the sin of homosexuality, became lesbians and sodomites while incarcerated in prison. The Apostle Paul confirms this reality in 1st Corinthians 7:7b, “But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.” The reason why many incarcerated people turn to homosexuality, by choice, is so obvious—because a person cannot just claim “God's grace” to turn off their sexual needs. Why do you think the Roman Catholic church is such a sexual playground of wickedness? It is their wicked prohibition of marriage for priests (1st Timothy 4:1-3). Any religious man who sincerely says otherwise needs to go see a medical doctor, or take testosterone supplements, because he is lacking as a normal red-blooded man! I just don't understand selfish pastors across America, who enjoy their wives every night, to berate and deny another Christian man who is the horrible victim of an unwanted divorce, the happiness of getting remarried. The pastors who are guilty of the things I am saying ought not be pastors!
Anybody who claims that a divorced person can never get remarried is going 100% against the plain teaching of the Scripture, which addresses people who are “burning” with sexual desire for a mate. 1st Corinthians 7:7b, “But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.” Yet, somehow, proudful religious hypocrites will place conditions upon this Scripture passage, alleging that by God's grace you can endure the sexual “burn” and avoid sinning “by God's grace which is sufficient for thee.” They pervert the true meaning of 2nd Corinthians 2nd Corinthians 12:9, “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” This is a misapplication of the Bible to apply it to avoiding the “burn” that leads to fornication for many unmarried people. 1st Corinthians 7:2 plainly teaches, “to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” Unlearned pastors will horribly tell legally divorced people that they can avoid fornication “by God's grace.” The Bible doesn't say that the way to avoid fornication is by God's grace, it says to GET MARRIED!!! Shame on pastors who go against the Word of God.
But you say, “Two wrongs don't make a right! God would never permit sin.” Okay, was Moses sinning by allowing the Hebrews to get divorced? Jesus said in Matthew 19:8 that Moses was placed into a bad situation, where he didn't want to allow the people to get divorced, but they were hard-hearted so he gave it to them. Was Moses an accomplice? Did Moses sin by allowing the people to sin by getting divorced? Is God sinning by allowing divorced people to get remarried? Is God a party to committing sin? No, God absolutely hates divorce, but hard-hearted people file for divorce and abandon their spouse! So God has an acceptable and permissive will for those who have sinned. It is not God's perfect will. Just as Moses wasn't to blame for the sins of the people, even though he reluctantly allowed them to get divorced, neither is God to blame when divorced people sin by getting remarried. Adultery is a sin! When the Jews got divorced and remarried, they were sinning (Matthew 19:9), but Moses allowed them to do it (Matthew 19:8). Moses wasn't to blame, and neither is the Lord. God doesn't want people to get divorced and remarried, but some sinners do, and so God reluctantly permits them to remarry, to avoid a sinful life of fornication (1st Corinthians 7:1-2, 26-28).
For the same reason that pastors corrupt God's simple plan of salvation, teaching forsaking sinful behavior to be saved instead of preaching a free grace Gospel by faith alone in the Gospel, they also deny divorced people the need to get remarried—it is because they hate sin! Amen for hating sin. The Lord is against all sin (John 7:7; Hebrews 1:9). Christians are commanded by God to hate evil (Psalms 97:10). I hate the sins in my life. The Bible says to take revenge on all disobedience to God's Word (2nd Corinthians 10:5-6). But the Bible is plain in 1st Corinthians 7:2 that the way to avoid the sin of fornication is to get married, rather than burn. God's grace is not enough to pretend that you aren't burning in the flesh for a mate. We have a bunch of cruel and unrealistic leaders in churches today. The Bible addresses how to deal with the “burn,” and God's solution is to GET MARRIED. Claiming God's grace is not the Bible solution!
I cannot address every hypothetical situation in this brief article. There are many aspects to consider in divorce and marriage. Truly, volumes of books could be written, and have been written, addressing this subject from the Bible. God sees the secret things of man and will judge all men accordingly (Hebrews 4:13; Ecclesiastes 12:13-14). I think there is a vast difference between someone who gets remarried while the ink is still wet from their divorce, versus someone who waits 10 to 15 years and then remarries. I think it is shameful that divorced people are often mistreated, cast out and shunned by churches as second-class Christians. The weird thing is that if a divorced person gets remarried, and then moves to join a new church, the people will openly accept that couple; but if that same divorced person tries to get remarried in a church, the people will oftentimes condemn, reject and even excommunicate them for it. Go figure! Pastor Jack Hyles preaches about this phenomena in his helpful sermon titled: “If Thou Should Mark Iniquities Who Could Stand?” The Christian army is the only army in the world that kills its wounded!
You have a lot of pastors and laymen today in the churches who hold people to the LETTER of the law, but woefully lack the SPIRIT of the law. Whereas they are quick to pick up stones to condemn divorced people, as they did the sinful woman caught in the act of adultery in John chapter 8, the Lord befriends the fallen in love saying: "Where are thine accusers? Go and sin no more.” What is wrong with religious people today, that they lack common sense and compassion for sinners? I say it proves that they really don't “love people” as they falsely claim in their churches. In the real world people make bad choices. Divorce is an unfortunate thing. Divorce is not God's perfect will. But we've all blown God's perfect will in one or more areas of our life. Thank God that He still has an acceptable will and a permissive will for hurting people like me. Jesus is precious!!!
