Dignity and Respect

by David J. Stewart

1st Corinthians 7:3, “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.”

       The word “benevolence” in 1st Corinthians 7:3 means “to show kindness and good will towards someone.” Notice that the Bible directs this command to both the husband and the wife. Despite the difficult times in which we live, God wouldn't tell us to do something impossible. Anyone can be nice if they choose to be nice. Most divorces happen because a couple has lost their respect for each other. All good will is gone. “Good will” is defined as: “Pleasant and beneficial in nature or influence.”

Couples don't divorce because they're being pleasant one toward another. Usually a bad situation has become increasingly worse over time, like a pressure-cooker. It seems easy for outsiders to have all the answers for someone's happy marriage. People need to mind their own business. Remember the serpent in Genesis who ruined Eve's marriage and then went his merry way. People will do the same thing to your marriage if you are weak and allow them to poison your mind.

I speak primarily to the ladies, who Biblically are far more prone to bad advice than are men. Women file for divorce at more than TWICE the rate of men. Eve was deceived, not Adam. 1st Timothy 2:14, “And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” Like it or not, women are far more prone to religious cults and false teachings than are men. Remove women from the Charismatic Movement and it would disappear overnight. Women gravitate toward false doctrine. Roman Catholicism is a religion of worship of a woman, Mary (which is why so many cultures embrace Roman Catholicism, as it appeals to Godless women who rule over their husbands). At least half of the U.S. is Roman Catholic. Why should God bless a nation of idolaters?

We are living in a wicked generation of selfishness, sexual immorality and lack of concern for OTHERS. The benevolence means nothing to people today. It is so important for a husband and wife to work together at being pleasant, kind and respectful of one another. Once a trend of abuse starts, it will fester and escalate into a divorce or worse. Abuse is always a sin.

It is important that a couple have some type of Christian spiritual guidance in their marriage, whether it be attending church together or getting involved in a ministry together to help OTHERS. It's very easy to paint yourself into a corner, working year-after-year on a dead-end secular job until one day you realize that you no longer have a life. In today's wicked generation you can find yourself without Christian friends very quickly. Thus, it's important to seek out fellowship with other like-minded Christians in your area, to go soul-winning with and encourage each other in the Lord.

So many people have contacted me in the past, telling me that they cannot find a King James Bible using, soul-winning, God-fearing, sin-preaching church in their area. It is sad. Although there are numerous resources on the internet, even so-called online churches, nothing can replace a local New Testament Church in your area. There's no such thing as the universal (which is what “Catholic” means) Church. The Bible teaches local New Testament churches where two or more believers gather in Jesus' name. The three-fold purpose of the Church is to:

  1. Elevate the Savior
  2. Evangelize the sinner
  3. Edify the saints

The Purpose Of Going To Church (from the excellent book, THE CHURCH by Dr. Jack Hyles)

The Bible teaches for husbands and wives to be kind and have good will one toward another, and for husbands not to embitter their wives...

Colossians 3:19, “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”

This is a very interesting Scripture. It means the exact opposite of what most people think it says. The Greek word for “bitter” here is pikraino, which means “to embitter.” It means to make your wife bitter against you. The Bible is teaching husbands to love their wives and don't cause them to become bitter against them. Husbands

There are many reasons why husbands become bitter against their wives. As a Bible preacher, I teach women to try to live in such a manner that your husband won't have reasons to get angry, become abusing or bitter. Why make life harder than it already is? My experience has taught me that husbands generally get upset for A REASON. Women are quick to demonize their husband and bad mouth his faults, but why is he angry? You wives need to ask yourself this question... Why is my husband upset with me?

As a God-fearing, born-again, Christian... I CARE!!!

Time Out's Are Ok, Divorce is Not

The idea that it's ok to leave and divorce because your spouse has changed is a cop-out. The hardcore truth of the matter is that people have desperately evil and deceitful hearts (just as God said in Jeremiah 17:9). People look for ANY excuse they can find to divorce, because they're tired and just want out. It is a sin. There's a lot of tired husbands out there, who slave at some thankless job year-after-year. I'm sure many of them would like to just quit and walk away from everything, but they don't. What gives women the right to walk away from their marriage and responsibilities, from their lifetime commitment which they made on their wedding day? She has NO right in God's eyes! It is wickedness! You hang in there!!!

Although I never, never, ever approve of divorce (because It's a sin), I do realize that a wife sometimes needs to leave because of an abusive husband. I'm not talking about the witchy little spoiled brat who is upset with her husband because he scolds her for not doing her duties. I'm talking about a drunkard who beats his wife.

Booze causes people to do crazy things. I thank God that I've never touched a drop of alcohol. My experience has shown me that one spouse is never completely to blame. It takes two to tango. A marriage is not 50/50 (as heathen society teaches); it's 100/100, that is, each spouse has vowed to put forth 100% love, effort and understanding to make the marriage relationship work. The Lord Jesus Christ sets an example to follow... For while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). Jesus went to the cross in love, knowing just how rotten and sinful we would one day be. He loved us before we loved Him (1st John 3:16).

When one spouse falters and only puts forth 10%, then the other spouse in unconditional love ought to put forth 100%. However, in reality neither spouse puts forth 100%. In every marriage, both spouses are less than perfect human beings and will slack off in some area at some time. I'm not perfect, and neither are you. My Pastor for many years, Dr. Jack Hyles (1926-2001), taught one Sunday night that “First Baptist Church will become a great church when we stop saying, 'he has sinned' and 'she has sinned' and we start saying 'we have sinned.'” I love that. What a Biblical statement!

One of the most hurtful things which women do after filing for divorce is bad mouth their husband for the rest of their life. I've heard numerous women speak evil of their former husband(s). If you grasp the statement I just gave you from Brother Hyles, then you'll stop being critical, because “WE HAVE SINNED.” You are a sinner too, whoever you may be.

Divorce is always a sin and no one should ever file (Matthew 19:8). It's the greedy lawyers (who advertise everywhere for cheap divorces), and the malicious feminists on television (who have indoctrinated women to be intolerant of husbands), who are largely responsible for the skyrocketing divorce rate in America. People have become intolerant of each other. Children are being taught in Godless public schools to snitch on their parents for anything and everything. One father was arrested, handcuffed and put behind bars because his daughter drew a picture of a gun in class. The Entire System is Paranoid and Insane (father jailed over child's drawing of a gun). If your wise, put your kids into a private school.

If you are honest, then you know that you are not a perfect wife or husband. No husband can say that he has always done everything right, neither can any wife make that claim. Few marriages are role models for the rest of us, and usually those folks have had extraordinary upbringings, having grown up in good homes. Witnessing continual screaming, fear and physical violence as a child, ruins that child's future of ever having a normal marriage and life. The Bible proclaims that all humanity have come short of God's glory (Romans 3:23). All men are sinners (Ecclesiastes 7:20). The Bible uses “men” here in a generic sense, referring to humanity in general; thus, including both men and women.

There are none righteous (Romans 3:10). That's how we know for certain that Jesus' mother, Mary, was a guilty sinner and died a sinner's death like everyone else. The Bible plainly teaches that all have sinned. The heretical Roman Catholic teachings of the Immaculate Conception, Perpetual Virginity and Assumption of Mary are demonic in origin. They've turned Mary into a monster, sometimes referred to as “The Great Whore.” Personally, I don't believe that this term is speaking about the Roman Catholic Church. I think “The Great Whore” refers to the gang of criminals, the global elite, who are the architects behind World Government, aka, the New World Order (NWO). These evil people are improperly referred to at times as the Illuminati. The “Illuminati” was a literal occult organization started by Adam Weishaupt in 1775. Due to public outcry against the group, they disbanded and went underground, eventually infiltrating Freemasonry to carry out their plot for World Government. That plot continues today, with Freemasonry being the primary workhorse of the group. Believe it or not, the evidence is factual and irrefutable. The NWO is here!

The popular image of a perfect and loving wife being abused by a drunkard, cheating, husband is a stereotype of feminism. Songs such as “Goodhearted Woman” by Waylon Jennings, says “She's a good-hearted woman in love with a two-timing man.” The song implies that the wife is a victim. Feminists love to portray themselves continually as victims in a man's world. Whether it be a pregnant woman taking a coat-hanger to herself in a back-alley (an incident which has never been documented even once medically), or a good wife with a bad husband, feminists love to portray themselves as victims of men. Biblically, the truth is that women are as much guilty sinners as men.

One man sadly said concerning his wife... "But she won't cook, clean, or be a wife. She won't take care of the kids. She hides things from me. She lies to me. She acts like a moron. She talks to me when I'm busy with something. She loses my things. She won't wrap the food. She won't clean the refrigerator. She won't communicate with me. She loses my mail. She overlooks hair in my food. She gives me drinks from dirty glasses, et cetera." That is sad. A wife ought to clean her house and care for her husband and children. I'm sure a book could be written about all the things that wives don't do. If people were perfect, then there'd be no divorces. Husbands ought to be understanding and help out at home.

Forget the psychologist or psychiatrist, because your wife will end up drugged out and no better off. A psychiatrist is sometimes necessary (medications) if a person has violent outbursts, bipolar depression, et cetera. There are times when it is ok to go to a psychiatrist, who specialize in medications. Albeit, I first suggest getting involved in some church activities, bodily exercise, change of diet and long walks in the park or along the beach a couple times a week. I'll almost guarantee you that just by exercising and changing your diet that your life can be bettered.

The big question is are you an honest person who is going to honor your marriage vows? If you're willing to break your marriage vows, then you'll break other rules as well. Women who file for divorce are often shameless adulterers, liars and gossipers too. They have no regret nor remorse for their actions. They are cold-hearted, cruel and reckless. The world is filled with these types of women. This is NOT Biblical Christianity. Most people have no fear of God before their eyes (Romans 3:18). I fear God; therefore, I CARE!!! God cares according to 1st Peter 5:7.

We ought to care too, and we will if we walk with God. Amos 3:3 says that two must be agreed if they are to walk together. You can't be an abortionist, pornographer, feminist or involved in a same-sex marriage and walk with God. To walk with God you must agree with His Word that sin is sin. You can't live a lie and expect to have a close walk with God. If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us (1st John 1:9).

Marriages are out of control these days. Men and women ought to walk with God and purpose in their heart to be kinder toward their spouse. Most arguments in marriage happen because someone is disrespecting their spouse in some way. We ought to love our spouse as our self.

"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." -Ephesians 5:21